I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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