"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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