I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
