He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
