hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
