My nipple is on Facebook.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
