TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize