Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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