oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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