he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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