I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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