I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
