shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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