this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
