I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
