I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
