Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize