There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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