I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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