I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
