he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
