They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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