I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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