bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
