I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
