They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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