she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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