I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
