Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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