i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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