This is not my ceiling
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
cat food counts as protein by the way
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
