i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
