Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Even my vagina gasped.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize