No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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