I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
