Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize