You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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