You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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