Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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