I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
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