I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
