we're blogging at a bar
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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