Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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