I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
