Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Green mimosas i think yes
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
