The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
