there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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