youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
