There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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