was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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