so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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