it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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