YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
