i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Still dying that you shit outside
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
