Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize