Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
