It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
